Three Strikes and You're Elf

by Sarah Gromko

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℗ 2015 GromKo. Music
© 2012 Skullsound (BMI) and GromKo. Music (ASCAP)

lyrics

Each year Santa makes a list,
And yes, he checks it twice.
He knows, though, if he wants a kiss,
His wife must check it thrice.

The third chance that a child has had
St. Nick won't judge himself.
It's Mrs. Claus says, "When you're bad,
It's THREE STRIKES AND YOU'RE ELF!"

Delvin Purcell,
As the workshop elves tell
Was a boy who talked back to his mother.
He'd steal, cheat, and lie,
And make little girls cry.
Then he'd come home and beat on his brother.

It was no longer shocking
To find coal in his stocking,
Where he'd found it two years in a row.
To avoid it this year,
He would trap the reindeer,
And he'd turn Santa's jolly, "Ho, ho" into "No!!!!!!"

Old Santa Claus frowned at what Mrs. said,
But there was no need to nag.
For when Santa landed on Delvin's head,
The boy was stuffed into the bag.
(The boy was stuffed into the bag.)

When Delvin awoke,
He found many young folk
Sleeping next to him, with pointy ears.
They were scooped from up top
And dropped into a shop
Where conveyer belts moved with grand gears.

Chocolate milk flowed from fountains
On sugar plum mountains;
Tiny cookies on red and green trays.
Mrs. Santa came by
With a smile in her eye:
"We must turn you from your wicked ways."

So Delvin the elf worked day an night,
And was tempted by treats all around.
Only homesickness drowned out the thought of his plight,
Oh, the day when he could be unbound!
(Oh, the day when he could be unbound!)

One day Mrs. Claus
Sought to help Delvin's cause:
"Though an elf now, you once were a boy.
For your tiny elf chains
To become candy canes
You must conjure the North Pole's best toy."

So he drafted and drew,
Gath'ring wood, tools, and glue
As generosity filled up his soul.
All the elves huddled in
To watch Delvin's toy win
(That he cleverly powered with coal...)

With a whistle and boom, Delvin's ears curved back round
And the workshop walls pulled in fast.
His baseball wallpaper and old Basset hound
Made him see he was back home at last.
(Made him see he was back home at last.)

Delvin mourned who he had been
But now is free from guilt.
And underneath the evergreen
He found the toy he'd built.

So just remember, little one,
You must behave yourself.
While Santa wants you to have fun,
It's THREE STRIKES AND YOU'RE ELF.
Yes, just remember little one,
It's THREE STRIKES AND YOU'RE ELF!

credits

released November 23, 2018
Performed by: Sarah Gromko
Written by: Sarah gromko and Joe Scatassa
Recorded by: Brian Seeger
Mixed and Mastered by: Marc Lacuesta

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Sarah Gromko Dickinson, North Dakota

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